In my essay Don’t ask for permission, I reflect on the factors that led to my divorce and how it led to changes in how I approach my life.
I often think that healthy relationships are defined not by a lack of rupture but by how well we repair. All relationships have rough patches, and yet, these moments can be the greatest sources of deepening connection. A rupture moment occurs because both people are in their own experience, and they are unable to temporarily put that experience to the side to understand and connect to the other person. Even if we’re working on understanding our triggers, or trying to become more self-aware so that we recognize our experiences without letting them take over, we still can’t avoid rupture moments in our close relationships—not with our friends or spouses and certainly not with our kids. So we need to get better at repair. Becky Kennedy, Good Inside
Books that have informed my views on romantic relationships:
